{Sweetly Broken, Wholly Surrendered}

Do you ever wonder why you are reading my blog? … Is it like a hi-speed car chase that you just can’t turn off the TV because you need to see how it ends? You find yourself still watching after 2 hours of the same car being chased by the same 15 cops. Are you wondering when the car will finally run out of gas or even nervously waiting for the speeding car to un-forseeingly side swipe a semi-truck?

If I were on the readers side I would probably ask myself why is this girl so up front in claiming God will heal her baby? How can she be so sure? I’d be nervous to put myself out there claiming such big things like that. What if the healing doesn’t happen? What is going to happen if Jaxton doesn’t survive… How is she going to act then? What will she think and feel about God and his ability to heal?

I guess I can look back and see where God has shown up so many times in my life and provided for me in so many ways. He has taken care of me in the past and I just have to assume he is the same God then as he is now. My faith is in God not the outcome. Less than 15 days to go… and I still have faith that God will heal Jaxton, but I’ll tell you the honest truth it is MUCH stronger on the days where I am in the bible reading and reminding myself what faith means and reading examples of such men/women in the bible.

As the days have been counting down so quickly, I have been wondering what my life is going to be like when this is all over with. Here I sit feeling my life has some sort of purpose and is somehow giving other people hope, strength or what ever it is. Will I loose my sense of purpose once the “car chase” is over? Because for me the end isn’t if the car hit’s the semi or if Jaxton survives. My story will still continue whether you follow it or not. Our lives will go on. You might forget about Jaxton, about us and your life will go on too. But my hope is that God has moved you in a way that your life has been impacted for the better and you have been able to strengthen a relationship with him in a new profound way.

To be completely honest, I would love nothing more than for you to forget my name and all the details about Jaxton and his prognosis. I’d love for you to remember that our family had faith in our creator and trusted whole heartedly in his plan for my life, Jaxton’s life and our family. I want my legacy on this world to only point to Jesus. I hope and pray that what ever you may be going through in your life right now you are able to take inventory of the blessings you have and thank God for them. Thank him for all the crap going on too while your at it.  🙂  seriously.

I think this song puts it so beautifully how I feel : sweetly broken, wholly surrendered.

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

Think about that for a second: … Sweetly Broken …Wholly Surrendered.

Have you ever felt that way? What would that look like in your life? Are you wishing for Jesus to draw you gently to your knees? Would you like to be  lost in a love so deep with your creator and savior that you are at a lost for words?

You can have all that and more. If you are feeling sweetly broken and want to be wholly surrendered or are wondering what God is all about I would LOVE to be available to help you in your journey however I can. Maybe you didn’t stumble across this blog today on accident. If God has been reaching for you and touched you in a way to have faith in God and not in the outcome in your life and are wanting to say a prayer here is a simple one:

Jesus, I repent of my sins and I believe that you died for my sins on the cross. I also believe that you were raised from the dead and I invite you to come into my heart and become my Lord and Savior.”

If you decided to pray this prayer and receive Christ today, welcome to God’s family. Now, as a way to grow closer to Him, the Bible tells us to follow up on our commitment.

  • Get baptized as instructed by Christ.
  • Tell someone about your new faith in Christ. (i’d love to hear about your decision!)  🙂
  • Spend time with God each day. It does not have to be a long period of time. Just develop the daily habit of praying to Him and reading His Word. Ask God to increase your faith and your understanding of the Bible.
  • Seek friendships with other followers of Jesus. Develop a group of believing friends to answer your questions and support you.
  • Find a local church where you can worship God.

*   *   *

Here is a Daily Grateful Journal that I use. Maybe it could be helpful to you too. Every day write down 5 things you are grateful for. 4 people to pray for. 3 personal prayers. 2 verses that stood out to you. 1 thing you learned about God today and last a section to journal.


8 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Jennifer on February 15, 2011 at 9:47 am

    Lisa… I do not know you personaly but found you through a friend. You have touched me… Jaxton’s story has touched me. I am no longer and busy working mother of four. I am a strong Christian Woman that needed a BIG reminder that life passes by too quick, you better make sure the people in your life know how important they are to you. In my past I would come home and go straight to cleaning, organizing, getting things ready for tomorrow. Forgetting that tomorrow is not promised I better be ready for today! I have spent the last few weeks of reading your blog getting better in touch with God and my children. I can tell a huge difference in my kids. Just spending time with them playing instead of them entertaining themselves. My story may not be what you were hoping to get out of this but its what I was needing. Thank you for sharing your life with us and in turn making my life better. We continue to pray for your family and for Jaxton.


    • Oh my goodness! you have brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing your story and that is exactly what helps keep me strong. I am so so so happy to hear how your relationship with your children has gotten closer! I LOVE THAT!!!!!! Thank you for reminding me that I still need to SHOW my hubby and Jake how much I LOVE THEM. You are so right about getting on the floor and playing with them, singing with them and not wasting those precious learning moments on other things. As i type this I hear Jake singing and coming down the stairs. I’m gonna go give him the biggest hug and tell him how special he is to me and maybe even give him a double stuffed Oreo to solidify my love 🙂


  2. What I will always remember about Lisa Husmann is her AMAZING faith and trust in her SAVIOR. How real you are, how open, and how willing to allow God to use your life, in whatever capacity, for HIS divine purpose…no matter the outcome! I thank God for you and for bringing you in my life, to show me yet another real life example of “working” faith!! I love you Lisa!


  3. Posted by Just Guillermo on February 15, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    God bless you!


  4. Posted by Michelle Bradley (Aunt Mimi) on February 15, 2011 at 11:43 pm

    I love you my best friend, my sister( well pretend sister) the one person that gets me. My heart hurts for you and with you but I am so proud of how you have turned this whole experience towards Jesus. I know he is looking on you and smiling! xoxo


  5. Hi Lisa, you don’t know me but I used to go to PFB years ago. I think I may have met your husband at Holly and Eric Calderon’s wedding! I now live in New Zealand… and I am sending prayers for your whole family! You are an amazingly strong woman and I hope I can be half as courageous as you in times of struggle. Thanks for being so open and honest!
    My husband and I are currently trying for our second child, but need fertility help… your journey with Jaxton has reminded me that God is in control and does have a plan for us, even if we can’t see it!
    We are praying for you and Josh! I wish I could give you a big hug (even though you don’t know me :)!). God Bless!!


  6. Posted by April on February 16, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    This post is amazing:) YOU are amazing and I know God is smiling at you. You make HIM very proud to call you HIS!! 🙂 Still praying for you and little Jaxton:)


  7. Posted by Misty Nickols on February 17, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Hi Lisa! My little boy has been flirting with a fever all week. This always causes a lot of fear for me because if it spikes.. it could mean so many things; infections, neutropenia, returning blasts another hospital stay. I just put him down for a nap and after making sure he fell asleep I walked downstairs and made sure to read the envelope I have taped to the top of or stairway with Joshua 1:9 written on it. Instatly after reading this I had the sudden urge to check your blog. Your faith in God is a huge inspiration for me and I knew reading about it would give me the strength to release my fears. Since Colton’s diagnosis I have truly realized how much I need God in my life. I struggle with fear on a daily basis and feel like for the first time I am sincerely developing a relationship with God. I think all these years I was going through the steps because, “that was what I was suppose to do.” As I read each of your new entries I continue to pray for miracles with Jaxton and strength for you and your family, but it is more than that.. You have certainly made a HUGE impact on me. As I shed many tears and lift you all up in prayers while reading.. I also smile while reading about your relationship with God and your faith, and pray that mine can become as strong as yours!!
    Your always in my prayers!
    Misty Nickols


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