{36 weeks}

It’s amazing how far I have come in my journey. At one time: a day wouldn’t go by with out rivers of tears pouring from my eyes, going to bed with massive migraines, being addicted to Google and sad youtube videos. I couldn’t even hear the song “You Give and Take Away” without being upset, conflicted and honestly a bit angry.

The day before we got Jaxton’s prognosis I had been telling my mom about how I had been planning out a NATURAL child birthing experience this time. Quite opposite to the last time with Jake. My doctor only delivered on Tuesday or Thursday so if I wanted the doctor who had seen me the last 8 months to deliver I had to induce. I wish I knew then what I know NOW! Not only was it traumatic for my poor little Jake but I was close not being able to have kids ever again and close to dying because of all the blood loss. (TMI)  So my plan was: NO inducing, NO Pitocin, NO epidural. I wanted Waterbirth and relaxing Hypnosis with a doula. (yes- i’m a hippie at heart)

{I recommend the documentary Business of Being Born. or you can watch clips on youtube.}

Fast forward 8 weeks: Now I am full of praise and so full of hope and faith.

Ever since my 10/10 moment life has been so AMAZING! I have completely had a heart change and let me tell you, the effort it takes to be sad and upset is a lot more than the effort it takes to trust God and share your burdens with him. I’m so thankful for my dear friend Marsha who lovingly reminds me “…..truly, you must surrender this and put it ALL in God’s hands….That means every aspect of it, from the method of delivery to the outcome with Jaxton….e.v.e.r.y. d.e.t.a.i.l…….”

I have never been closer to God or more drawn to his scripture. I have just finished 1 Samuel. Wow- what a great book! Along with that I have been reading all the scriptures you all have been sending me as well! I love it! Marking up my bible has never been so fun! I’m also reading Sun Stand Still which I highly recommend!

{1 Samuel 5} “1 After the Philistines had captured the ark of God, they took it from Ebenezer to Ashdod. 2 Then they carried the ark into Dagon’s temple and set it beside Dagon. 3 When the people of Ashdod rose early the next day, there was Dagon, fallen on his face on the ground before the ark of the LORD! They took Dagon and put him back in his place. 4 But the following morning when they rose, there was Dagon, fallen on his face on the ground before the ark of the LORD! His head and hands had been broken off and were lying on the threshold; only his body remained.”  Even false idols bow down to worship our God!

Jaxton has conviniently snuggled his way into my rib cage. Hope this doesn’t last for the next 5 weeks. I had to cancel this weeks appointment due to the icestorm last night. Our drive way is one huge ice cube along with the rest of the street – Literally * I’m not exaggerating! (Not quite ready for that driving adventure.)But I am planning on seeing my friend Amy at the 4D ultrasound next week so i’ll get another sneak peek of my little baby. I’m excited to see him but also to show you all his pictures!

Thank you everyone who has been on this journey with me and seeing my oh so obvious ups and downs. At this point I should probably have a roller coaster named after me.

Heard this song on sunday and it really touched me:

Blogs I have been enjoying reading:

Aimee Loeser

April Evans

Baby Be Blessed

Out of Ashes

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by angela on February 2, 2011 at 1:06 am

    Lisa,
    We are on this journey with you every step of the way. We have been called to an even higher level of fasting and intercession on your families behalf. We also are growing in FAITH and are anxious to see how God gets the Glory in all this!
    Much love and many blessings!

    Reply

  2. Lisa –

    You continue to inspire and glorify God with your story – can’t wait to see new pictures of sweet Jaxton 🙂 Any news about delivery date?
    Love, hugs and prayers to you all!!!!!

    Jes

    Reply

  3. Posted by Misty Nickols on February 2, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    Hi Lisa,
    I just started following your blog after hearing about it last Sunday. Pam and Dennis Pratt are my husbands aunt and uncle. They told me about your family awhile back and I have since been praying for you all! First, I want to thank you all at Mercy Road for sending my family all of those uplifting cards!! What a good day!!
    Secondly, I want to commend you for sharing your ups and downs and keeping your faith so strong along this most difficult journey! My 17 month old son is currently fighting a battle with Leukemia (I know these journeys are so very different) and what has helped me the most is taking one day at a time and constantly reminding myself of Joshua 1:9. Reading your posts and seeing how strong your faith is …is very inspiring! I will keep praying that God is working miracles in baby Jaxton and that he gives you and your family strength!
    Much Love,
    Misty

    Reply

  4. Posted by Lynnette Anderson on February 2, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    Hello Lisa,
    We are members at PFB and just learned of Jaxton’s condition during Pastor Glenn’s opening last Sunday. He mentioned in passing about being with and praying with Josh last week. I was prompted to find out what the heck is going on. My husband Joe and I have prayed for your family in the past with your delivery of your first boy, the move to IN, church planting and this pregnancy, not knowing anything about Jaxton. I only wish I had known sooner how to direct my prayers. My heart is breaking for you and yours and I want you to know we will be on our knees daily as a family praying for you and sweet Jaxton to be God’s miracle child. My love and God’s Blessing to you all, Love, Lynnette Anderson

    Reply

  5. Posted by Debbie on February 4, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    hey Lisa,
    That is my dream delivery too! I didn’t get it with Luke bc of some medical issues requiring me to be in hospital but what can you do. 🙂
    I ve been wondering for some time how jake is doing with all this (your big 2 year old now! Happy birthday Jake!) – how much he understand, how you explain things to him, etc.
    PrayingFor all of you.
    love, debbie

    Reply

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